Spring 2024 Winner of the Moving Forward Scholarship

Alissa Freed

Alissa Freed is a second-year student at Saint Petersburg Junior College Clearwater. After reading her essay, you cannot help but become impressed with her resilience and determination in not only pursuing a college education but also never allowing her past to define who she is and who she wants to become.

Read Alissa's Essay:

One of the most important lessons I have learned about the importance of moving forward is that, well, the past is the past, and there is nothing that I can do to change what has been done. Sometimes I have felt down, disappointed, or even angry when faced with the wreckage of my past. However, constantly thinking about what went wrong and blaming myself does nothing for me, and it doesn't help the people around me either. Accepting the past, learning from it, and teaching others to do the same is how I assist others in improving themselves and their lives.

In 2014, I had two DUIs and a probation violation. Among the many horrible decisions that I have made, I spent years struggling with addiction and avoiding dealing with some serious trauma that I have endured throughout my life. Drugs and alcohol were a symptom of the fear, pain, and misery that were living inside of me. My addiction fed the fear and pain, and then the fear and pain turned around and fed my addiction. So how does one break free and move forward from a vicious cycle of self-sabotage? I wish I could say that it was simple, but it is not. For me, it took a lot of courage and a lot of support to pull myself up from rock bottom.

I could have sat there in my pain and misery. I could have held a lifelong pity party for myself, blaming everything around me for my choices, while I led myself to my deathbed with addiction. My options were to keep doing what I was doing or to ask for help and do anything that was asked of me in hopes of living a fulfilling life. Quite frankly, option A would have been easier. In 2019, I decided to go to an AA meeting. I have been clean and sober ever since. I got a sponsor and started the process of healing and moving forward. People think that the motion of moving forward is swift, just like when people say, "Just let it go." Moving forward and letting go can be a long process because there are so many emotions involved. In order to move forward, there needs to be acceptance of the past, healing from it, and learning from it so that the same mistakes aren't made again. That takes time.

First, we start with the twelve steps. one day at a time. One decision at a time. I really try to listen and give compassion, and I pass no judgment. Most of the time, when people come to AA, they are exiled from their family, have no friends, and have no home. Just to have someone there to listen and care is more meaningful than I can put into words. I have sponsored over twenty women. Most came from homelessness, and most are now living a life beyond their wildest dreams. Some have incredible careers, beautiful, loving families, graduated college, and repaired relationships with their families, among many other successes. and most importantly, they are all sponsors now with their own sponsees. Not everyone makes it in sobriety, but I will continue to be there for any woman who reaches out and needs help. To be able to help these women is a privilege that I am beyond grateful for.

The addiction epidemic that is happening in the United States right now has affected millions. Every eleven minutes someone dies from an overdose in the United States. It is my duty as a woman of faith and a woman in recovery to help any woman that reaches out to me. I cannot save everyone. But every woman I sponsor is a life that could be healed and restored. The process of moving forward and helping other women move forward as well has been immensely fulfilling. My past is what makes me who I am today. My past is what allows me to help women rebuild their lives today. The key to moving forward is not forgetting the past, but finding a way to make the past a starting point for the future.